You may have never heard the name John Gottmann before, in the world of relationship research, he’s a rock star.
While he’s most known for his ability to predict which couples would divorce with 90% accuracy, there’s something else that he’s come up with that’s equally impressive.
He’s found one easy to remember trick that can strengthen all your relationships.
After years of research, Gottmann and his collaborators figured out the key to a happy, healthy relationship is a 5:1 ratio.
Basically, for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable relationship has five, or more, positive interactions. Good or bad, these things don’t have to be big. In the negative end, it could mean something as small as an eye roll, and to get back in their good graces, it could be as little as a quick joke.It’s not the size of the gesture, it’s the frequency.
And while it was invented to save people from hiring divorce lawyers, it could be an amazing way to move up at work, too. All of your coworkers are bound to like you more if you’re hitting them with five warm interactions for every sarcastic email. You could also use the 5:1 ratio to build your network and get a new gig.Your call!