Top Signs You’re “Getting Too Old For This S*#T!”


You just pulled a muscle during foreplay

You’ve been trying to get the bartenders attention for two hours

You’re thinking about going home to take a nap during a lap dance

You turn down a booty call for some left over pasta in your fridge 

The bouncer at the bar you’re trying to get into just called you “Ma’am” 

You’re trying to cover up a hickey your one nightstand gave you last night

You’ve spent 20 minutes trying to get your skinny jeans on

You’ve been waiting on line for an hour, in the freezing cold, to get into a club

You’re 45 minutes into spin class and the girl next to you has a big smile on her face

You aren’t going out until you can find your favorite pair of Spanx

You’re having trouble getting in and out of your sports car

You just pretended to like a guy with bad breath for free drinks